Dallas' Secret Recipe

There is something to be said for ‘synergy’. That is, the idea that “the whole is better than the sum of its parts”. The NBA Finals thus far attests to this notion. When looking at these two teams on paper (or just looking at them in general), one would think that Miami clearly has the upper hand. After all, they have three All-Stars on their squad, two of whom will more than likely continue to dominate in the league for years to come. The third has the potential to do so if he would stop posing for dinosaur look-a-like pictures and instead spend an afternoon in the weight room. Conversely, Dallas has a 7ft power forward, a 5’7 point guard, and a 38yr old who they rely on for both scoring and defense.  It seems like a no-brainer.  So, how has Dallas been able to ‘beat the heat’ without a beach or a cocktail…?

Dallas’ best kept secret is their ability to function at a very high level as a team and to seamlessly filter guys through the lineup throughout the game. After all, their second leading scorer comes off the bench.  Their not-so-best-kept secret comes in the form of Dirk Nowitski. For years, Dirk has been a dominant threat in the league. He has led the Mavericks to eleven straight playoff appearances and is a ten-time All Star (and he’s got great hair). Perhaps, the thing that hinders Dirk’s fame the most is his consistency and disregard for the spotlight. Our society loves volatility and flashy-ness. We love when a superstar has an awful outing and then comes firing back with an explosive performance. We get bored when a player consistently scores 25pts and gets 10 boards a night. Where are the windmill dunks, the spin moves, and the alley-oops? Similarly, NBA All-Star weekend has evolved into 1/8 basketball, 6/8 entertainment, and 1/8 Kia advertising vehicles for freak-like specimens to jump over. No one wants to see people stand around and knock down 18ft jumpshots.

Dirk doesn’t want his own website, his own clothing line, or his own shoes. Dirk doesn’t want his own reality show. He doesn’t want to attend weekend events at Dallas nightclubs in his newest Armani suit. Dirk wants to sink jumpers. He wants to win championships. Most importantly and perhaps most noticeably, Dirk wants the ball in his hands in the fourth quarter – something most would hesitate to say about anyone in Miami’s starting lineup. With a superstar like Dirk on your team, you want him to shine during crunch time - just like I want Ari Gold in my corner when I am negotiating a business deal.

Dirk’s finishing ability aside, Dallas’ supporting cast is unique but surprisingly efficient. Players who most doubt would thrive as well anywhere else the way they do in Dallas are able to blossom in Mark Cuban land. Shawn Marion has his swagger back from his early days in Phoenix. JJ Barea’s effectiveness continues to impress. It’s not hard to believe that he can put up 15pts a night, but it is hard to believe the way in which he does it - carefully selecting shots and capitalizing on opportunities to cut through the lane. Tyson Chandler looks like a seasoned veteran with his composure and willingness to make the hustle plays. Have you ever seen the way Tyson carries himself? In his mind, he is about 40lbs more muscular than he really is, but it’s that mentality that bleeds through in his play and shows up on the stat sheet. 

The Mavericks have taught us a lot during this post-season. Maybe you don’t need the best superstars, the best city, or the best pyrotechnics during pre-game warm ups. Maybe forming a team of like-minded athletes who respect one another as well as their coach and GM is the new recipe for success. I don’t think the Mavs will close out the series in Game 6, but I do think they will be champions after Game 7.

And if there was ever a reason for Dirk to do a photo-shoot, maybe he could be convinced to model his ring for a few quick snapshots.

LEBRON-inomics

First things first, let me just say that this year’s NBA Finals truly could not get any more exciting (unless Allen Iverson would come back from ‘retirement’ and step over Tyrone Lue en route to an upset of LA in Game 1 in 2001). Every single game has come down to the final minutes, and the intensity and talent level of both teams is nothing short of impressive. Anybody who ever doubted that Miami would be in the finals this year is either 1. Stupid or 2. A Cavs Fan. LeBron taking his talents to South Beach was the best thing that happened to Miami since Will Smith made that timeless hit, “Welcome to Miami”, circa 1998. Dirk’s ability to take over games in the 4^th quarter and to use the same move over and over again in order to set up clutch jumpers is uncanny. He could literally tell his defender exactly what he plans to do and he would still be able to pull it off. Hey, you try to guard a 7-footer with the athleticism of a shooting guard.

Now, to the heart of the matter. The ‘LeBron’ discussion is one that I believe will continue for years to come in the sports world (as it should). Let me just say that I have always loved watching LeBron play. His game is so exciting to watch, mainly because it causes me to question over and over again whether or not he is human. Somebody his size should not be able to float around the court in the manner that he does. I had the privilege of getting to see LeBron live and up-close in quite a few games at Quicken Loans Arena when he was still in Cleveland. I saw him take on Kobe and LA twice and got to see Game 1 of the 2009 Eastern Conference Finals against Orlando (Thanks Linny). I loved the hype, the energy of the arena, and the way the entire city ate up everything ‘LeBron’ – the way Rex Ryan would at Old Country Buffet. The atmosphere was unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced and I was at Lincoln Financial Field when Michael Vick made one of his first starts as a Philadelphia Eagle.

I will always remember exactly where I was when LeBron made his ‘decision’. It is just one of those things that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Upon hearing the news, I was fairly indifferent. I wasn’t a die-hard Cavs fan (I just had a reserved seat on the bandwagon), so I wasn’t upset, and I wasn’t a Heat fan so I wasn’t excited. More or less, I was just excited to hear the news. I wonder how long it took from the time “The Decision” aired until some sports reporter wrote an article about how LeBron James had forever tainted his legacy. All of the arguments began to evolve. “He joined Dwayne Wade because he would never be able to win a title on his own”. “He disrespected the entire city of Cleveland”. “He is an arrogant, pompous, prick”. And the stories kept flowing and flowing.

Do I disagree with the way LeBron handled the situation and created an unnecessary media production surrounding his decision? Absolutely. Do I hate him and hope he loses every game he ever plays from now on? Absolutely not. LeBron did exactly what Cliff Lee did this past winter with the Phillies. He left his current team to earn LESS money in order to play with quality teammates and have the opportunity to win a World Series. Cliff Lee was praised and glorified for his choice, LeBron continues to be crucified for his. I understand the hurt and pain that Cleveland fans inevitably felt as a result of LeBron’s choice to leave their city. The best sports fans are emotional, loyal, and often times fanatical. However, LeBron does not “owe” you anything. He doesn’t owe you 8 more seasons in Cleveland until he can win a title and he sure as hell doesn’t owe you an apology for his choice. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the NBA is a business. And in the business world, people choose to join one corporation over another every single day for a number of different reasons. Playing basketball is LeBron’s job. It is what he is professionally trained to do. If you had no binding obligation to stay with your current company and got offered a job to work with one of your closest friends in one of the most riveting cities in the country, would you expect to be eternally reprimanded for taking it? Doubtful.

“Well, Michael didn’t leave Chicago to go to Boston and play with Larry, he won them on his own”. No he didn’t. He had a decent supporting cast and arguably the best head coach in NBA history. And oh yeah, in case you forgot, Michael Jordan is the best to ever play the game, so that helped him out a good deal, too. If someone asked me who was a better basketball player, Michael or LeBron, I would say Michael, without hesitation. I repeat, I would say MICHAEL JORDAN without hesitation. With that said,  I HATE the Michael vs. LeBron argument. It is just stupid. Why can’t a current player be appreciated and be successful without always having to be compared to Michael? Michael has more rings than LeBron will ever have – this is true. Robert Horry also has more rings than LeBron. So do Derek Fisher and Steve Kerr. That makes them better basketball players in comparison to LeBron, got it. Michael knew how to win championships and I will never attempt to take that away from him. I understand there must be a standard and a benchmark in order to compare players over time. I am on board with creating some guidelines for ranking players, but it shouldn't serve as an ultimatum. Plus, LeBron doesn’t want to be Mike. He, himself, has said that he will never be Michael Jordan…and why should he be? Why can’t LeBron be LeBron? This comparison does not occur in other sports. No one knocks on LaDainian Tomlinson because his moves weren’t as crafty as Barry Sanders. No one disregards Peyton Manning because his style of play is different than that of Dan Marino. When did NBA fans mandate that only one player ever be considered ‘great’?

I am interested not only to see how the rest of the finals will unfold, but also to read every article written by every idiotic sports writer who will never credit LeBron for accomplishing anything. I am not even a huge LeBron fan. Yes, I love to watch him play, and if you fail to appreciate what he can do with a basketball then I question your appreciation for the game in general. If the Heat end up winning the series 4-2, everyone will say they should have swept them. LeBron should have averaged 35 and 10. LeBron’s shot selection was bad. LeBron turned the ball over too much. LeBron didn’t make his teammate’s better. And on and on and on and on. LeBron could average 40pts and 15 rebounds for the rest of the series and most people would find a way of accusing him of not playing hard enough to put up these numbers in the first three games. By making the decision he made, he has forever tainted his legacy. Not because it deserves to be tainted, but because everyone believes it should be. If he ends up winning 7 championships (one more than MJ), everyone will say he should have won 8. I don’t want everyone to love LeBron. I just think people are ignorant for hating him because of his decision. Hate him because you’re a Boston fan. Hate him because you are an Orlando fan. Hate him because every time he comes to your city he lights your favorite team up for 40pts. Don’t hate him because he is doing what he loves in a city he loves with people he enjoys playing with. I should also mention that I am a Kobe fan, but we won’t go there today….

I'm Back, Baby!

Stud: Kemba Walker

Are you kidding me? No, really, are you kidding me? Pitt, how are you going to switch on a screen with 5 seconds left and let your center try to guard arguably the most talented shot-creator in the NCAA. Clearly, this didn’t prove to be the best choice – just ask Gary McGhee’s ankles. Poor decision making aside, if I’m a Pitt fan, I can’t even be mad about the result. When Kemba hits a shot like that, you just have to look yourself in the mirror and say “big players hit big shots”. Kemba has been hitting shots like that on playgrounds and gymnasiums since he was a kid. After all, this is the same guy who upset both Michigan State and Kentucky in the Maui Invitational to start the season. It will be very interesting to see how Walker and the Huskies plan to attack Syracuse’s 2-3 zone.

Dud: LeBron James

Although the Heat pulled out an impressive victory over the LakeShow last night in South Beach, I am still not convinced that LeBron James wants the ball in his hands down the stretch. There were numerous times in the 4^th quarter where LeBron drove the lane and decided to dish the rock instead of take it himself. Don’t get me wrong, LeBron obviously has plenty of other weapons on his team who are capable of hitting big shots (I think). It just continues to strike me as odd that LeBron either takes the big shot and misses it (consistently) or seems to treat the ball like a hot potato and dish it to the nearest teammate. The defeat of the Lakers recently halted the Heat’s 5 game losing streak. I would be surprised if LeBron EVER lost 5 games in a row when he was in Cleveland. I think the Heat are still learning how to play with 2 ½ superstars on their team but if something doesn’t pick up soon, I think their chances at a deep playoff run are slim.

I Can’t Believe…

I can’t believe that people are still questioning BYU’s dismissal of Brandon Davies. Whether or not I agree with the BYU honor code is completely irrelevant. The bottom line is that BYU has rules that all student-athletes are made aware of before they choose to attend school there. By choosing BYU, you accept these rules and voluntarily commit to obeying them. It’s the same concept as if you commit to a school where the coach implements a ‘dry season’ policy (no alcohol consumption during season). If you violate this rule, you will be dismissed from the team. It’s the rules, and you chose to accept them by committing to compete for their athletics department. Either way, it’s a shame to see BYU’s chances of making a deep tournament run decrease because of one player’s decisions, but that’s the way it goes. Jimmer Fredette has still created a great buzz for BYU and I am interested to see if he can make it in the NBA – most likely will have to convert to a point guard.

Shhh, The Game Is On:

Big East Semi-Finals, Syracuse vs. Connecticut followed by Louisville vs. Notre Dame

Need I say more? Sorry friends, I will be staying in tonight.

Controversy in Philadelphia? - Never.

I have been reflecting on the quarterback situation in Philadelphia for quite some time, but wanted to wait until yesterday to see how Mike Vick performed as a starter for the first time since I was a senior in high school (Go Mounts!). And although the Eagles' defense somehow let the Lions put up 32 points, Mike Vick led the birds to a 35-32 victory in Detroit and looked very Virginia Tech/Atlanta Falcons-esque while doing so. He was scrambling and escaping defenders in the pocket and also threading passes I didn't even know he was capable of throwing. If I was happy about one thing on Sunday, it was my decision NOT to buy a Kevin Kolb jersey and instead buy a throwback Randall Cunningham, I say its always safe to go with guys who can no longer let you down or get traded. Kevin has the potential to do both. But not if Andy Reid has anything to say about it. And he has slightly more pull in this situation than I do, believe it or not.

All joking aside, here's my take on the situation. I think Andy Reid has too much pride to put Kevin Kolb on an 'okay, you're starting but if you screw up once, you're getting benched' type of plan. Thats not a good situation for any quarterback or any team.  I think Kolb should and will be the starter for at least 3 to 4 games and if he plays well, he'll start all season. If things don't look good for Kolb after 4 starts, I think its time for Andy to put his ego aside and let Michael Vick try to salvage the season. People keep saying 'Michael Vick isn't the long-term answer for the Eagles at quarterback'. Really?...and Kevin Kolb is? If one of these guys has proven that he can play at the highest level at quarterback, its Vick. I'm willing to give Kolb a fair shot but how is he a better long term solution than Vick at this point - its crazy. I think its also equally crazy that Philly fans will torch Kolb the second he throws into triple coverage or God-forbid, throws a pick. Every quarterback does this on occasion, if it becomes a habit, then by all means, torch away my friends. At least we're 'easing' him back into action by letting him start against Jacksonville. I think Ryan Leaf could start for us and we'd still be okay.

My other take-aways from the weekend:

1. Don't count the Vikings out. They've played two good teams to start the year and are plagued by injury at the receiver position. Acquiring Vincent Jackson will bring good energy to the team and soon Brett Favre will be done finishing training camp and actually start playing football circa week 5.

1a. Do count the Cowboys out. Wade Phillips has absolutely no idea what he's doing, Miles Austin will be distracted by his recent breakup with Kim Kardashian, and Dez Bryant will probably get a DUI or assault someone.

1b. Tampa Bay is a fluke, the Bills are horrible, and Cleveland is worse.

2. If the Phillies stay healthy, especially their starting rotation, they will win the World Series.

3. Apparently there is a lingerie football league? Oh, the joys of living with three boys....

Reasons We Can't Be Friends...

There are a few teams who I simply despise and whose fans I simply loathe. If you happen to fancy any combination of two or more of these teams, I'm going to tell you up front, it's just not going to work. If you like one of these teams, I can work with you. It's when we get above one that I lose my patience and will apoligize in advance for making jabs at your morals. Here goes...(in no specific order)

Ohio State Football
Duke Basketball
New York Yankees
Dallas Cowboys 

(If you don't already feel nauseous after just reading those four names that closely together, we're off to a rough start)

The Buckeyes

First things first, your team is named after the nut from a Buckeye tree. I could stop here if I wanted to. Now, to give myself some relative credibility, I went to college in Ohio at another D1 school - Ohio University. A few quick facts about OU - located in Athens, OH, the Bobcats play in the Mid-American Conference, voted #2 party school in the country in 2010 - my senior year (coincidence?). Back to the hellhole in Columbus...
I do not have a problem with Jim Tressel. I personally love sweater vests. I think he's probably a pretty down-to-earth dude off the field. And you know what, the more I think about it, I don't even really have anything against the football players themselves, either. Ohio State Football FANS are what truly make my blood pressure rise and take my language on an all-expense paid trip to expletive town. These people are deprived of an NFL team so they literally base their entire existence on Saturdays in the fall. It's as if nothing else of importance exists, let alone another college football team. Now, mind you, I went to school at Ohio who happened to play in Columbus at the Horseshoe in the fall of 2008 (and held a lead going into the 4th quarter). I kid you not; my fellow classmates at OU were strolling around campus in scarlet and gray. These Buckeye fanatics had the nerve to cheer for their team when they were playing against our own university - BLASPHEMY.

The Dukies


If I was a spoiled, Caucasian male, who was served my entire childhood on a golden platter, I might view Duke Basketball differently. But I'm not. If I longed for feelings of grandeur and self-entitlement, I would have sent a recruiting tape to Coach K - but I didn't. To make it clear, I think Coach K is a good coach - I think he's ethical and knows how to get the most out of his players. I don't like his demeanor, his whiny antics, or his rat face. I understand your players have gotten every call their entire life and you want that to perpetuate throughout their college career, but if it comes at the expense of your snarling and complaining - I want nothing to do with it. If I had to choose between watching Duke lose or spending an afternoon at the spa - I would choose the spa, and then I would watch Coach K bitch and moan during post-game press conferences on my iPhone while I was getting a pedicure. HEAVEN.

The Yanks

This is a tough one for me to explain. My best friend is a Yankees fan and she sticks to her guns when it comes to me ripping on the pinstripes. The Yankees are classy and they are more of a corporation than a sports team when it really comes down to it. They spend all their money on getting the best talent and creating team after team of All-Stars. I really don't see a reason why a team with this amount of discretionary money doesn't win the World Series every single year. If I were Hal and Hank Steinbrenner, I would consider anything less than a world championship a failure. I don't hate the Yankees because they historically win, I hate them because they don't win near as much as they should. It just goes to show you that money can't buy happiness and that combining excellent players on one team does not always lead to success (I'm praying for you South Beach).



The 'Boys

Seeing as I am an Eagles fan, it goes against my moral code to cheer for those egotistical &*(%&*@# down in Texas. I'd rather play in rush-hour traffic. Aside from my Philly loyalties, I wouldn't choose to cheer for these guys anyway. Jerry Jones is literallly the poster child for 'arrogant pricks'. He will scoop up any player he thinks might have talent regardless of whether or not their criminal record is longer than their career statistcs. Classy. Don't even get me started on when people call the Cowboys 'America's Team'. I'll tell you right now that our founding fathers would not wear stars on their helmets or cheer for the likes of Roy Williams, Wade Phillips, and Dez Bryant. I am literally counting down the days until the Titans release LeGarette Blount, the 'Boys pick him up, and then Tony Romo gets cold-cocked during warm-ups.

Like I said, I can force myself to put up with you if you like ONE of these teams. Any more than that, forget it.

GameTweets from the Jungle

As you may have heard, everyone's favorite Spanish-influenced-numeral receiver recently got fined $25,000 for tweeting prior to and during a preseason game. The league has installed a Twitter rule that forbids players from tweeting 90 minutes prior to kickoff until all media interviews are concluded post-game (I didn't think league rules applied to Chad OchoCinco...?). Chad tweeted during pre-game about catching a ball from Michael Vick and tweeted during the game about a hard hit he took (from an Eagle, I may add...). Now, I understand that these tweets are extremely malicious and threatening, but really, CHILD PLEASE!

I agree that players should not be tweeting during games - If I was Carson Palmer, and I looked over and saw Chad tweeting on the sideline, I would fire a leather rocket right towards his dome, no questions asked. It was also humorous to me that they fined him $25,000 - this is nothing short of a joke. I've done the tedious calculations and I've concluded that $25,000 to OchoCinco is equal to approximately $100 to the average American. Its pocket change. And just like I predicted, OchoCinco couldn't care less about the fine. He tweeted that he was upset that the $25,000 fine cost him two month's payments on his Bugatti. Tough break, Chad, you're going to have to significantly adjust your lifestyle as a result of this fine.

If Chad, God forbid, didn't have a Bugatti car payment to worry about, these are the top 5 things I think he would have spent the $25,000 on....

5) To open a premium account on Match.com because his reality show (The Ultimate Catch) has provided him with nothing more than lust and he's just an honest man looking for true love that lasts.

4)  Money for the strip club so he can 'make it rain' alongside his new teammate, Adam 'PacMan' Jones (no, silly, all $25,000 won't be used at the club, the remaining funds will go towards PacMan's legal fees)

3) Ab implants because, although his are great, they might look inferior next to TO's when they do topless photo shoots together. And then a camera to photograph pictures of his abs so that he can frame and display these photographs around his house.

2) An automatic, limited-edition, personally engraved firearm (birthday gift for teammate, Tank Johnson).

1) A Bugatti to give to Carson Palmer in exchange for a guarantee of at least 60% of his pass attempts (and a promise of no more than 25% in the direction of #81).

Cheers (and Carson, I'm praying for you),

The Ocho